Nine Tailed Otaku
by Kenshin Akagi
Summary: A young Naruto rests near the Uchiha compound. Meeting his first friend, Shisui Uchiha, Naruto is introduced to the world of Anime.
1. Chapter 1

7-year-old Naruto Uzumaki sighed as he stared silently at his reflection in the water, rubbing the bruise on his face gently, and winced. He had started going to the Ninja Academy in the hopes of becoming strong enough to become Hokage, the leader of the village of Konohagakure No Sato. If he were to be Hokage, the rest of the village would finally acknowledge him as something more than just 'that brat' or 'thing'.

For in truth, Naruto was hated by the mass populace of Konoha. 7 years ago, on the night of Naruto's birth, a massive beast called the Kyuubi attacked the village, killing hundreds. It had taken the sacrifice of Minato Namikaze, the Yondaime Hokage, to seal the colossal fox into its prison with a newborn child...namely, Naruto. But Naruto's status as a jailer was kept secret from him, as was his parentage.

He had lived in an orphanage for the majority of his life; but he was hated, even there. Sure, the caretakers took care of him like any other child, but it always seemed like they were glaring at him, and Naruto could count the number of times he got one of the fresher meals on one hand.

Today had been the end of the first week in the ninja academy, and Naruto had foregone going home in order to spend time resting at a small lake. He knew the lake was close to the Uchiha grounds, and that he would soon be requested to leave, but he decided to stay for a bit more, just staring at his reflection, wondering what was wrong with him.

Was it because he pulled pranks? Naruto shook his head, doubting that reason. He wasn't _that _much of a troublemaker, and when he did pull pranks, his victims usually deserved it. Whether it was because they forced him to pay twice as much for a loaf of bread, or cut his bag with a kunai, Naruto believed in one important lesson; do exactly on to others as they do upon you.

In his head he could still hear the jeers of his classmates as he had failed in a taijutsu spar, or the harsh mutterings of adults as they witnessed him wandering around the village. He hated it, but he knew nothing else.

A small sound of footsteps alerted the boy to a presence behind him, and he turned slowly to see a teenager looking at him curiously. The teenager had the black unkempt hair of the Uchiha clan, and black eyes. He had a broad nose and a humorous twinkle in his eyes. He was wearing what appeared to be a modified Anbu uniform, with a black midriff jacket attached with red straps to his black shirt and a tanto.

"Hey. You sure you're in the right place, kid? You don't look like an Uchiha to me, and I'm pretty sure I would know who's an Uchiha." The teenager said. Naruto quickly realized the teenager was an Uchiha, and a strong one, considering the Anbu uniform. The teen stood waiting for an answer, before noticing the bruise on Naruto's face. The teen whistled. "Damn, that's a shiner. Hold on a sec, I'll take care of it." He brought out a bag from inside his uniform, shuffling through it rapidly. He tossed a few kunai on the ground, what appeared to be sealing tags, a two-pronged kunai, a picture of a scantily clad woman who looked like a Hyuuga, an orange book with a man chasing a woman on the cover, a few manga, and a bag of money. He finally withdrew a small container of ointment.

"Hah! Found it!" He knelt down and began softly applying it to Naruto's face, noticing his whisker marks for the first time. '_Ah...The Jinchuuriki?' _he wondered, pausing briefly before continuing the application. When he was done he threw everything back into the bag. Naruto mumbled a 'thank you.'

Naruto was honestly shocked that the teen had done anything at all. Usually when he got a bruise on his face, people would just chuckle a bit before going on their way. The teen sat down on the ground. "So, you got a name, kid?"

Naruto looked up, and nodded, a smile on his face as he threw his fist in the air. "I'm Naruto Uzumaki! Dattebayo" He exclaimed with happiness. The teen just stared for a bit before he started chuckling. The teen wiped a tear from his eye, as he too threw his fist in the air. "Well, I'm Shisui Uchiha! Dattebayo!" He yelled out, collapsing in a fit of laughter at the end.

Naruto sat down looking curiously at Shisui's gear. "Are you a ninja, Shisui-san?" He asked, peering at the tanto. Shisui moved the tanto out of Naruto's reach, smirking slightly at the disappointed look on his face. "You got that right, Naruto. 21-year-old Anbu member Shisui Uchiha! Got a nice ring to it, no?"

"You're 21? You look way younger..."

"I get that a lot...trust me..." Shisui muttered, still remembering when that hot as hell Hyuuga chick refused to bang him believing it to be statutory rape. He still got her in the end, but it really broke his pride. Shaking his head out of the past, he looked at Naruto with a critical eye. "Why are you asking? Do you want to be a ninja?" He asked, smiling when he saw the look of enthusiasm in Naruto's blue eyes.

Naruto grinned. "Yep! I started the ninja academy this year, actually! I'm gonna be Hokage!" He yelled, his fist rising to the heavens once more. "Is being a ninja fun, Shisui-san?"

Shisui took a moment to answer, looking off into the lake. He remembered killing innocent children who got in the way of the mission, or framing a simple farmer for the murder of another country's Daimyo. The image of an old man covered in bandages standing in front of a group of ninjas dressed similarly to Shisui flashed in his mind. When Shisui did answer, it was hesitant. "Not really...you should learn now, Naruto, being a ninja is hard work...it isn't just about saving princesses and killing tyrants...well, maybe the latter part." Naruto's face fell slightly, but Shisui just reached into his bag again, withdrawing a manga.

"Here. It's one of my favorites." He said, handing the manga over to Naruto. On the cover was a man being crushed in what seemed to be a hug with a red-haired Lamia. "It's 'Daily Life with a Monster Girl.' It's really funny, and I'm sure you're mature enough to handle something like that. Much tamer than Shingeki No Kyojin, or Uzumaki at least."

Naruto's ears perked up at the mention of Uzumaki. "Uzumaki?" He asked. Could that manga have some relation to him?

Shisui chuckled. "Trust me, Naruto, you _don't _want to read Uzumaki, at least not yet...It has nothing to do with your last name, if you were wondering." Shisui looked up at the graying sky. "Well, I had better go. You should head home too...let's meet again tomorrow, ja?" Shisui said, looking at him. Naruto nodded enthusiastically. Shisui chuckled, and made a small salute to the child. "Well, ja ne...Dattebayo." Shisui disappeared in a body flicker, and Naruto stood and raced home, 'Daily Life with a Monster Girl' clutched in his hands.

As Naruto read the book later that night, howling with laughter, nobody could think of the consequences. When Naruto was focused on something, he would never give up with it. To him, Manga now represented a form of his first bond with his first friend, and was now even more precious than ramen to the young Jinchuuriki.

In other words...Naruto was _hooked._

_**AN: Well? Tell me what you think.**_

_**KenshinAkagi...signing off.**_


	2. Chapter 2

**"What the hell are you doing?" **Naruto paused in his typing as Kurama's voice appeared in his head, resuming his typing at a furious pace.

"This Faggot keeps saying that only depressed, fat, lazy slobs who live in their mothers basement watch Hentai. I'm attempting to prove him wrong." he explained, glaring at the bright screen of his computer. His foe was attempting to resort to greentext, as if that could ever help his case. Frikkin Newfags.

**"...But that describes you perfectly."**

"It _would, _but I don't live in my mothers basement, considering she's dead, thanks to a certain giant fox." Naruto smirked as he mentally tallied a point on his score sheet. Kurama sputtered in irritation, but gave up.

Naruto had changed in the five years since he had been introduced to the wonderful world of Manga. His once tan skin, indicative of his time spent in the sun, was now a sickly pale. His spiky hair was covered in oil and grime, and a particular bang fell over his left eye. Pimples dotted over his body, and he was now quite a few pounds overweight.

His apartment, which was once bare, now hosted a massive collection of Anime paraphernalia. Several bookshelves were stacked together, filled to the brim with anime dvds and manga. A mass clump of magazines with scantily clad girls was stuffed in the corner, its pages clearly worn from overuse. The only light from the apartment was stemming from a large computer screen, which Naruto was currently typing away in front of.

A rumble filled the apartment, as Naruto scratched his stomach. "Fuck...arguing with dipshits on /a/ makes me hungry. Hungry for anything in particular, Kurama?"

**"Are you going to leave the house this time?" **Kurama asked in his mind, a tad miffed about being sealed within a boy who spent more time arguing with Anonymous men on the internet than actually trying to be a ninja. The boy had befriended him, had learned his name, and Kurama had to admit that the two of them were friends. But staying within a poorly lit apartment could not be healthy for anyone.

Naruto laughed. "Hell no, Kurama. I'll just post another D-Rank, make some Genin do it for me. I'm gonna go hang out with Hatsune." Kurama sighed, as Naruto posted a request for a D-Rank grocery mission. Better to have some stupid genins do it and learn teamwork instead of losing time with one of his precious Waifu.

Naruto stood from his chair as his computer powered down, and stepped into his bedroom. It had a large bed tucked in the corner, with a large collection of body pillows decorated with Anime girls placed atop it. Naruto grinned, picking a particular pillow depicting Hatsune Miku in a rather lewd pose. Chuckling pervertedly, he hopped into bed.

A knock at the door interrupted his mastur...sleep, and Naruto grumbled as he crawled out of bed. Naruto opened the door, hissing as the light shone right in his eyes. Blinking as his eyes adjusted to the light, he stepped back in shock as he saw the Sandaime Hokage standing at the door. "Hokage-Sama..."

Hiruzen smiled at Naruto, though the smile seemed strange. "Ah, hello Naruto. So this was where you were hiding out?" Hiruzen stepped into the house, taking notice of the seals around the door, obviously a form of privacy seals. "Seals? You know Fuuinjutsu?" Hiruzen asked, honestly surprised. While Naruto was half-UZumaki, a known clan of Fuuinjutsu masters, Naruto had shown no sign of wanting to practice the art.

"What did you need, Hokage-Sama?" Naruto asked, nervous. The Sandaime used to visit all the time, but hadn't spoken to Naruto ever since the Uzumaki had become an Otaku.

"Well you see, Naruto, you never technically left the Academy. Since you haven't been there for years, you have become the dead last. However..." Hiruzen smiled at Naruto. "I had originally arrived to get you to take a make up test. But seeing your skill at Fuuinjutsu, I do believe you pass." Hiruzen took note of how Naruto somehow paled even more dramatically, and coughed. "It seems you can become a ninja after all, Naruto. I'll bring your team by tomorrow. Congratulations." Hiruzen took out a headband, and placed it on a chair as he left.

Naruto stood frozen in shock, as his plans of staying an Otaku his entire life crumbled around him. "No...my...No!" He cried out, slamming his hands on the ground. Kurama chuckled in his mind.


End file.
